The role of a parent is often filled with hopes and dreams for their children. In Pakistan, however, traditional values and modern influences collide, creating a unique parenting landscape that deserves closer examination. Yelling is a common parenting practice in many Pakistani households, often used as a way to discipline children. However, constant yelling can lead to stress and even long-term behavioral issues. Research indicates that children exposed to high levels of yelling are 50% more likely to develop anxiety and behavioral problems.
Healthy discipline sets boundaries and teaches responsibility, while punishment inflicts pain and causes emotional harm. Many parents confuse the two, not realizing the psychological damage punishment can cause. They often place immense pressure on their children to achieve high academic success. Consider a child named Aisha, who, after being yelled at for poor grades, becomes withdrawn and fearful of failure. This scenario is all too common in many households.
In Pakistan, bad parenting often involves gender discrimination, giving boys preferential treatment and overly protecting girls, which limits their opportunities. These parents don’t emphasize the importance of respecting older people. In the past, children were taught to honor and assist the elderly, such as helping them carry things or showing them deference. However, this traditional respect seems to be diminishing.
Gender equality is crucial in the household, and parents should ensure that girls have the same opportunities and independence as boys.
Nowadays, Pakistani parents use TV, mobiles, and cartoons to keep noisy kids quiet. However, research shows that too much screen time, especially for kids under two, can hurt their language development and social skills. Also, in our households, open discussions about personal or sensitive topics are discouraged, causing children to hide issues, feel confused, and make poor decisions without proper guidance. Many of these bad practices often stem from parents’ unresolved trauma or their own harsh upbringing, continuing a cycle of negative behaviors that are passed down through generations.
To address these issues, Pakistani parents need to adopt a more balanced approach to parenting. Instead of relying on yelling or harsh punishment, they should focus on using healthy discipline methods that involve setting clear boundaries and explaining the consequences of actions. According to a child psychologist, “healthy discipline is about teaching, not punishing. Children learn best in a supportive environment where they feel safe.” This helps children understand their mistakes and learn without the fear or emotional harm that punishment can cause.
It’s also crucial for parents to foster open communication within the family. When children feel safe discussing personal or sensitive issues with their parents, it helps them make better decisions and avoids secrecy or confusion. Imagine a family where open discussions about feelings are encouraged. Children in such environments often develop stronger emotional intelligence.
Parents should reflect on their own unresolved traumas or difficult upbringings to break the cycle of negative behaviors and create a healthier environment for their children.
In addition, parents should recognize that focusing solely on academic achievement can cause immense stress for children. It’s important to encourage kids to participate in extracurricular activities like sports and creative hobbies, as these contribute to their overall development. Similarly, gender equality must be prioritized in the household. Girls should have the same opportunities, independence, and freedom as boys to pursue their dreams without being overly restricted or sheltered.
Reducing screen time and engaging children in more interactive and family-oriented activities can also significantly improve their social and communication skills. Instead of using television and mobile devices as babysitters, parents should focus on creating meaningful connections and learning opportunities at home. Lastly, it’s important for parents to reflect on their own unresolved traumas or difficult upbringings, as this can influence their parenting style. Seeking support or practicing self-awareness can help break the cycle of negative behaviors, ensuring a healthier and more positive environment for their children to grow up in.
Parenting in Pakistan is a blend of traditional values and modern ideas, making it both challenging and unique. Parents play a key role in shaping their children’s lives, so it’s important for them to provide a loving and supportive environment. By focusing on good communication, understanding their children’s needs, and giving equal chances to both boys and girls, parents can help their children grow up happy and confident. When parents take time to reflect on their own past experiences, they can break harmful cycles and create a better future for their families.
Looking forward, it’s essential for Pakistani society to understand how important it is to support and guide parents. The Pakistan Council of Family Relations (PCFR) is already working to provide resources and support for families navigating these challenges. By offering resources, education, and counseling, we can help parents face the challenges of raising children in today’s fast-changing world. With the right help, parents can build a community where children grow into responsible and caring adults. In the end, positive parenting leads to healthier, happier, and more successful future generations.